John Tui, Taylor Kitsch, and Rihanna star in Battleship. Courtesy of Universal Pictures
For the past two decades, Michael Bay has been “King of the explosion”, “Master of destruction”, “Terror to critics who flat out hate him”, etc. We’ve reached a milestone in Hollywood today with the release of Battleship, whose director, Peter Berg, has finally dethroned Bay with his movie which could have been alternately titled, “Life of an Explosion”.
In Battleship, Alex Hopper, a guy going nowhere in life, reluctantly joins the Navy and falls for the admiral’s daughter. Then, aliens are signaled to Earth and they do battle, much like the board game from Hasbro of which the movie is based.
That’s right folks, the story is about as thin as brothers Erich Hoeber (Red) and Jon Hoeber (Red) could possibly make it. Their script celebrates clichés and cheesy dialogues, leaving plenty of time for the director to blow everything up.
The cast is pretty much dreadful to watch. A lot of the attempted humor falls flat and there was no chemistry between any of the actors – Especially between Taylor Kitsch and Brooklyn Decker as the “love struck” couple. Kitsch better do something worth watching soon or he may find himself stuck in the “B” movie zone. What’s really sad is that the only person worth watching, Liam Neeson, was given very little screen time, even if the trailers would have you think otherwise.
However, if you’re in the mood for endless action or enjoy explosion “porn”, this movie has the goods to satisfy your every need. Some of the Transformers inspired CGI is crude, but at least the movie is shot nicely which allows the audience to see the ballistic action in its entirety.
Bottom Line: With your finger on the fast forward button, this is a great piece of demo material for your home theatre.
Grade C-
Runtime: 131 minutes
IMAX: No
3D: No
